Sigs

Here's my random signature file. Everything in 72 characters or less. (Download)

August 2005 – November 2009

556. Sent from my iPhone
555. I'm a poet and I didn't even realise this fact.
554. Veni.
553. People who sit on glass toilets shouldn't shit bricks.
552. Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
551. ‹Faero› YOU EDON@T KNOW WHAT A TYURING MACHIEN IS YOU AMSIVE RAGFAGOT
550. tty on fire
549. Pool closed because EELS
548. Tomes were perused; tombs were abused. —Impaled
547. Upsidedown-Crossly Bobsledding while Necroverting the Dark Fjord
546. Vaginally Chanting upon the Rotten Norwegian Yeti
545. Necroverted and Rotten Moonforest of the Anus
544. Worm-Infested and Scandinavian Hellwitch of the Duodenum
543. Welcome to my world — my wonderful world of shit and wank!
542. You look lovely this evening. Have you decreased in mass? —Kang
541. We can awesome! —Dinosaur Comics
540. This concept of 'wuv' confuses and infuriates us! —Futurama
539. This calls for subtlety. EXTREME SUBTLETY. —Pokey the Penguin
538. "So this Irishman walks past a pub..."
537. Putting the 'elation' into 'tessellation'. —qntm.org
536. Oh no! Mass! —Father Ted
535. In this house, WE OBEY THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS. —Homer Simpson
534. Battle Royale with cheese. —everything2
533. bad poetry; oh noetry! —toothpaste for dinner
532. All civilization was an effort to impress the opposite sex. —Futurama
531. "1,000,000 lemmings can't be wrong"
530. the sky above the port was tuned to a porn channel. —qntm.org
529. Kevin Bacon Linked to Al-Qaeda
528. b-b-b-beach funeral
527. ‹lux› I'm so tired I tried to scratch a backslash off my screen
526. One man's blasphemy is another man's religion.
525. Do (not) read words inside of brackets.
524. ‹Faero› is maith liom paisti agus coc
523. "I had killed a man... a man who looked like me."
522. "Did you just say 'wink' instead of just winking?"
521. "Oh goodness, I tripped and now there appears to be three dicks in me"
520. BRETHERN BEFORE WENCHES
519. If you've got odds & ends, and lose all but one, what are you left with?
518. Look, here's the deal: You can live here, but we're not naming you.
517. Despite our genocide, Krypton crumbles! What did we do to deserve this?
516. But this is just a child's drawing of a micro-scope...
515. There's no cure for that — they're just taunting me cruelly!
514. "zzzz betokeneth a Square of squares, squaredly squared."
513. derp
512. ‹irokie› my face... not enough palm!
511. ‹toxick› being an american is worse than any jetlag
510. ‹nstrich› i get a boner every time i ban someone
509. ‹toxick› i always win arguments in youtube comments
508. ‹toxick› how many jailbait trannies have YOU nailed?
507. "Essentially we're alike in that we share few similarites."
506. "...Wheels?"
505. Lawl! Wing Ja?
504. Gobbling gargoyles gobbled gabbling goblins.
503. I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.
502. Dude! You're, like, George Washington, man! —Hoagie
501. Program on beer; debug on coffee. —richie
500. ‹fibrosis› You're Doing It Wrong: Zen And The Art of Trolling
499. Verbing weirds language.
498. Cogito))) ergo sunn. —nox
497. "I do exactly what I'm knowing..."
496. Big McLarge-Huge!
495. We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese!
494. Put your helmet on — we'll be reaching speeds of THREE!
493. ‹nosmo› I'm IRCing from a vt320. My nerd erection could pierce titanium
492. # Appears as TIKI
491. ‹kevinly› SAPS IN CAPS
490. ‹timlump› whats the martrix
489. Never judge a book by its movie. —J.W. Eagan
488. "You shot my banjo!"
487. "There's probably no god. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."
486. Zip zop zoopity bop!
485. "Rap Dance trance hard house - I like most music really" —Bebo
484. "Digitally remastered, whatever *that* means!"
483. ‹johnl› Ah, positive discrimination, last resort of the PC cunt
482. DISREGARD THAT, I STEAL ANIMATED GIFS
481. I'm so angry, I could blog. —EffingBoring
480. I am not sure you all love Goatse on the same level I do. —rstevens
479. "Famous last words: 'It's just XML.'" —igowen
478. THE MILK'S GONE BAD
477. oh no pigeons
476. ‹socbot› no, no, I think #netsoc has the fibbers disease...
475. Bono estente!
474. BEARTATO, I CAN'T FIGURE OUT PEN
473. close the door! somebody's analogously eating in here!
472. I'm giving up the memory of a legendary bowel movement for you. —Spider
471. she is my lesbian backup plan. —nik
470. Ebola Cola: Refreshment that devours
469. Idea: some sort of business. Step 1: hire an ideas guy. —aedison
468. I can't fucking stand intolerable people. —nostrich
467. ‹Deeeno› I've seen hentai that is more believable than scientology.
466. Will my iPod get heavier if I put more songs on it?
465. ‹nosmo› How the fuck do I have a hangover in my knees
464. ‹nox› look into his eyes as he hates you into nothingness
463. I AM *BEST MYSPACE PASSWORD*, THE BEST MYSPACE PASSWORD EVER
462. while(!asleep()) sheep++;
461. Take THAT, people with diabetes!
460. HOW DO I DRANK DONG?
459. THIS IS BALD SCIENTOLOGIST, I MUST DOWNLOAD IT
458. LOLI HAET BACON
457. /* You are not expected to understand this. */
456. The Dude abides.
455. ‹stroan› I'm about as gay as a vagina loving man can get
454. ‹nosmo› winking like a puckered anus
453. ‹nosmo› There was no encryption. Only brutal anal rape.
452. ‹lux› ahh rape, the original ice breaker
451. ‹fibrosis› no one laughed at my trivialisation of rape ;____;
450. ‹nox› like a condom for bread
449. ‹Faero› het hinks we are retarded
448. ‹nosmo› GRIM AND FROSTBITTEN MILK
447. ‹johnr› if I see another TLA I'm going to die
446. ‹Gackto› THE JAVA POWERED INTERNET IS NOW AVAILABLE TO YOU
445. ‹nosmo› "I don't get it, it must be metal"
444. ‹faero› if we all get sucked into a black hole, no exams \o/
443. ‹johnl› Why am I turned on by Unicode?
442. let's see how long it takes for grandma to be racist
441. ‹nosmo› No two people are not on fire
440. ‹bryan› it's a good thing Microsoft isn't in the condom business
439. ‹stroan› also, no one had better quotedb or sig this conversation...
438. ‹johnl› every good game has sprites
437. ‹predacious› his second chin is bigger than my first chin
436. ‹fibrosis› and my uncle was like "why are you laug
435. ‹nosmo› WHY ARE YOU LAUG
434. ‹irokie› oh my, this prolapse is delicious
433. "Work safe? Go see! It'll be like russian roulette for your job!"
432. I slept with your wife.
431. ‹nosmo› Gherkins are god's word made vegetable
430. That is a very sexist way to talk about these bitches. —Ali G
429. If you are flammable and have legs, you are NEVER blocking a fire exit.
428. I'm listening to a band you've never heard of and wouldn't get. —MarkA
427. keming (n): The result of improper kerning.
426. This sentence is false.
425. The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part. —J Handy
424. YOU ARE HEADCRAB ZOMBIE
423. This is a pune or Play on Words.
422. ‹Vidar› DANGER! IMPENDING BABY!
421. ‹self› /b/ has its moments, but don't go to /b/ to find them
420. ‹nosmo› no library is perfect without Sunn o)))
419. Taisetsu na mono protect my balls!
418. ‹nosmo› Let it go man, I just thought your dog was bong-shaped
417. ‹fibrosis› you're not even a real Amazonian, you still have two tits
416. LOOK AT THESE FUCKING PEPPERS
415. ‹johnl› 22:15, time for the nightly argument.
414. ‹nstrich› sean paul is an anagram for pale anus
413. I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.
412. CRAAAAWLIIIIING IIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIN
411. ‹couperc› I bow to your greater knowledge of gay peacocks
410. I bought an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit. —Mitch Hedberg
409. When I was your age, Pluto was a planet!
408. I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long. —Hedberg
407. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
406. ‹fibrosis› seriously, why is everything ever so fucking bent
405. ‹nosmo› REITERATION OF IRC LINE FOR PURPOSES OF HILARIOUS
404. ‹KGMF› Doctors can slow down time?!
403. don't think I'd appreciate time limits on my anal experience —fibrosis
402. ‹fibrosis› fuck TCD, we're the Chernobyl of fashion
401. RULE 34: If it exists, there is porn of it.
400. ‹johnl› Evolution itself is evolving!
399. I am Lactose, the Intolerant!
398. The exciteable guy's got a point, Sam... —Max
397. ‹marka87› I don't know computers :(
396. ‹unit_01› this channel has taken a seriois hit in intelligence
395. "killing is bg but fascists are vbg" "but two bgs make a gg"
394. We're not fucking shooting a load of mongs, sarge! —Superetard
393. ‹johnl› I guess I was overestimating political maturity again
392. ‹fibrosis› LADS I DOWNLOADED THIS .TORRENT FILE AND IT WON'T PLAY IN VLC
391. ‹Faero› you don't need knees for CS
390. ‹socbot› there's restrictions on free penis night
389. ‹pio› "A pizza of radius z and thickness a has a volume of pi z z a"
388. Laws are like sausages: it's better not to see them being made.
387. ‹Fredd› I like girls, but I have been known to stick things in my butt.
386. ‹mu› I used to work in the Department of Redundancy Department
385. Dude, I invented the friggin iPhone. Have you heard of it? —Fake Steve
384. Blogosphere? Seems more like a blogorectangle to me. —Cesium
383. ‹Munky› Noooo! I want to be the crankiest old man ever!
382. ‹KBKarma› Silence, or I'll make a vague threat!
381. How do I hit people?
380. FUCK YO' COUCH!
379. It's like riding a bike that you hate. -Paul who is a ghost
378. We'd love to know why you cancelled your subscription to: being alive
377. Dyslexics have all the unf.
376. Real Daleks don't use stairs. They just level the building.
375. http://www.last.fm/music/Sleep/_/Dopesmoker
374. TV is the opposite of plumbing: it pumps shit INTO your house
373. ‹ANkh› what would the command line look like?
372. ‹Starrah› I give a bad name to bitches everywhere!
371. Would the owner of an ounce of dignity please contact mall security?
370. It's *my* head. WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THIS
369. ‹Munky› It is okay. It's like when retards eat trees.
368. CEILING-GOVERNMENT IS WATCHING YOU FAP
367. Pork chop sandwiches! OH SHIT GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
366. ‹fibrosis› my bedroom currently has no floor. Is this awesome? [y/n]
365. ‹Faero› I refuse to log in as root while drunk
364. ‹kiffer› Question 2: what happened to question 1?
363. This won't run on my computer! I should probably upgrade my UNIVAC...
362. ‹bitchchecker› shut up i hack you
361. AVOID BIG PINK POODLES
360. NO LAUGHING AT MY GENITALS
359. ‹irokie› dammit CDDB, hurry the fuck up, i need to poop!
358. Drone singers DO go OOoooooooooooooooooooooo... Sometimes. —Munky
357. Think of a will as a program that you can only test by dying
356. Rape is not an acceptable substitute for character development, people!
355. You bet your sweet Ass-percreme.
354. ‹justinpie› The best part about selling out is that you get money for it
353. ‹KingCarl› I HAVE CAPS ON ALL THE TIME AND USE SHIFT FOR LOWER CASE
352. ‹evilmnky› on a scale of 1 to gay, this rates about a dermo
351. BEWARE OF THE DOG: He is very sarcastic
350. The scransoms above your head are now ready to flange.
349. It's like being sexually attracted in reverse...
348. "I think Chuckles would know that." "Probably! He is rhetorical!"
347. In Soviet Russia, planet hacks YOU.
346. ‹TomCo› Its all /me /me /me
345. ‹socbot› :P i was looking at meatspin in LG12 a lot...
344. ‹nosmo› This just in! Things in death metal can be silly!
343. Seriously Science, let's invent teleportation already.
342. Quadrosexagesimal is the sexiest number system
341. SKEET SKEET SKEET
340. dnos umop-apisdn
339. Squdgy fez, blank jimp crwth vox!
338. I may be a pretty sad case, but I don't write jokes in base 13!
337. ‹Starrah› The internet is full of cuddly people.
336. "We are always good friends and I love blueberry always tprever"
335. ‹kiffer› 5 emos in a square room...
334. That's comedy, Prof. It's beyond the reach of your precious "science".
333. Being awesome is exhausting. —Sancho
332. FOLLOW THE SMOKE TOWARD THE RIFF FILLED LAND
331. DROP OUT OF LIFE WITH BONG IN HAND
330. To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.
329. A blonde asked a barman for a double entendre, so he gave her one.
328. Dude, you look gaytarded
327. ♫ METAL BY NUMBERS / COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE ♫
326. They speak the English as she is goodly spocken.
325. ‹Starrah› IRC drinking is not drinking alone!
324. ‹marka› Nothing gay about guy love
323. ‹johnl› i forgot the olol
322. I LIKE IT! YEAH! THROW AWAY THE KEY! I'M IN JAIL!
321. HI! I'M IN JAIL! SAY HI TO MOM... FROM JAIL!
320. I'M IN JAIL! I LIKE IT HERE... IT'S NICE!
319. HI DAD... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'M IN JAIL!
318. HI DAD... I'M CALLING YOU FROM JAIL!
317. HELLO DAD... I'M IN JAIL!
316. It is can be how do I created ultimate meme time now please? —Munky
315. ‹johnl› MOOD LIGHTING DOES NOT A GHETTO MAKE
314. Sedulously eschew obfuscatory hyperverbosity and prolixity.
313. If you die in Canada, you die in REAL LIFE
312. ‹MarkA› they're called the bee-gees for a reason
311. Support your local crazy person! —John Campbell
310. RUN LIKE THE LITTLE BASTARD YOU ARE
309. ‹nosmo› PENISES DO NOT GO INTO NIPPLES, EVEN IN HENTAI
308. REAL PIRATES ARE SATISFIED WITH ONE EXCLAMATION POINT.
307. REAL PIRATES DON'T SEARCH FOR NEW WAYS TO SPELL "WARES".
306. ‹stroan› Only your spagetti limbed messiah can save you now
305. Stave it off, one two three... And now you can count to three!
304. ‹nosmo› Fibrosisified (Rathen to the Gore)
303. ‹stroan› there aren't semi-colons big enough to express my pain
302. ‹hayzeus› all problems in life can be solved with more ram
301. ‹werdz› his name is an anagram for IAMAWOLFANDWANTTOEATINKY
300. ‹notpat› I R STELTEY
299. ‹johnl› gg music
298. static char *dong = "one-eyed wonder worm";
297. ‹Faero› no eiffel program is fast enough to finish in under 1 second
296. You wanted an argument? Oh, sorry, this is abuse. You want room 12A...
295. 09-F9-11-02-9D-74-E3-5B-D8-41-56-C5-63-56-88-C0
294. My personal favourite vegetable, o' course, is ketchup. —Natalie Dee
293. ‹snappieT› caveman might rape me if i lol
292. ‹fibrosis› yore ma loves a bit of the aul analogy
291. ‹Starrah› Stupid ground.  Be more like furniture!
290. /(bb|[^b]{2})/
289. ‹Stereo› you need to be able to accept STDs before you can start using C
288. ‹Munky› That is not MY fadhb.
287. People is sometimes kind. —Utahraptor
286. You are obstacle! —T-Rex
285. I'm solo strong! —T-Rex
284. ‹socbot› i want to be socially inept.
283. Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music. Thou shalt not make...
282. If you think you understand, you're just looking at it wrong.
281. s/(\bsweet)[- ]+(ass)\s+(\w)/$1 $2-$3/i
280. God is real, unless declared integer.
279. oh god how did this get here I am not good with computer
278. ‹nosmo› the 80's was a horrible time to be a saxophone
277. The advantage of making up your own words is quorfictal. —irokie
276. THE TRUTH IN UPPERCASE IS STILL THE TRUTH
275. Everybody stand back: I know regular expressions!
274. I'm so adjective, I verb nouns
273. ;o
272. Wouldn't you be screwed if you couldn't spell 'Google'?
271. HULAGHULAHLAG
270. Xray vision and hole-punching your eyelids are not the same thing
269. It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
268. I'll kill you with gay rage! —fibrosis
267. He looks like someone rammed the eiffel tower up his penis.
266. They're there in their room.
265. ‹fibrosis› /j #aroom plz
264. ‹brazil› real CS students can work computers with their minds
263. Antic-Hay changed the topic of # to: SOEMOJFNE FUCKIGNG OAPE ME
262. Any speeling mistakes or grimar erors are intential, life wit it.
261. My card is motherfucker don't make me come out the vase
260. Solid as a rock and proud as a peacock, appalachian is HOT HOT HOT!
259. ...but that implies I have AIDS! —snappieT
258. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
257. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
256. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. But I won't say it now.
255. ‹Eth› Imagine the same question, but with poop instead of ass
254. ‹fibrosis› welcome to default music taste land
253. ‹fibrosis› it's free, in fact, it's free
252. Upsidedown-Crossly Sacrificing the Winterdemon of Svalnecrograth
251. Invertedly Julienning upon the Perpetual Sathani of Nordtrondenborgir
250. Perpetual and Norwegian Demon of the Deathgoat
249. Darkly Shaving the Necrotobogganist of Xzfgiiizmtsath
248. Necrorectal and Chilly Necrocarcass of the Necrodemon
247. Unholy and Norwegian Angel Of Death Skiing
246. ‹morner› your drive for non-irritation is irritating me
245. ‹morner› people who live in glass houses ought to grow tomatoes
244. ‹pat› I lcuahg, you lcuahg, he lcuahgs, she lcuahg...
243. ‹Munky› JORD-MUND-GAND! Do do do do do doo doo.
242. ‹Antic-Hay› are we not still in the 60's
241. ‹fibrosis› I'm not going to go "this is shit, listen to my failure"
240. ♫ Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing! ♫
239. It's in the key of S. Write that down.
238. ‹Faero› STOP STEALING MY MEME
237. One does not simply shut the fuck up about Mordor
236. ‹AngelKat› deop me for a sex
235. ‹nosmo› ZERO DOES NOT EQUAL ZERO IN CS
234. POWER: One of the few things in life that's nicer than toast
233. Imhotep is invisible.
232. 5 and 3 are equal to EIGHT! Adding up numbers makes YOU feel GREAT!
231. 2 plus 5 is equal to SEVEN! Add four more and you get ELEVEN!
230. 12 plus 10 is twenty-TWO! Carrying the one is easy to DO!
229. 9 plus 0 is equal to NINE! Even adding nothing is adding just FINE!
228. 7 plus 8... equal FIF-TEEN! Adding up numbers is very up-lif-TING!
227. 12 plus 9 is twenty-ONE! Adding up numbers is ve-ry FUN!
226. I am not always right, but I am never wrong. —Samuel Goldwyn
225. There must be a meteorite hit the line
224. ‹pat› 20 years ago, something grew inside your mother.
223. I'm a tar, yes — on a mailbag I gab, Liam — a nosey rat am I!
222. Children! It's cow time, come come! Time for cows!
221. Get your picture taken with FUCKING ANGELS!
220. ‹fibrosis› Jamaican me uneasy with these puns. I Canada stop
219. Take a nap, THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!
218. I am le tired
217. ‹Eth› I wouldn't mind a gay manic depressive husband
216. That's what SHE said.
215. That's what YOUR FACE said.
214. I shot a man in Reno, with a twenty-sided die.
213. I shot a man in Reno, but the photo had red eye.
212. I shot a man in Reno, for publishing hentai.
211. DUMB MAKE BRAIN ANGRY!
210. machine. I accidentally created a time
209. Got in a fight; Triangle wins.
208. Meteor coming! Run! Wait, false alarm.
207. He was so ugly, everybody died.
206. Giant squid found. What happens now?
205. You survived. I didn't. Who's narrating?
204. "What about your date?" "I left her with the toaster."
203. "They never HAD dragons." "Who didn't?" "The WORLD!"
202. Come on guys, I don't wanna encourage any kinda dr— okay, I'll do it!
201. Enjoy our tasty Hammer Smashed Face! Aisle three.
200. Don't forget our special sale on Every Bone Broken Chicken!
199. Price check! Cleanup aisle six! Rotted Body Landslide!
198. That is the most metal thing I ever heard in my whole life. High five!
197. This is, I believes, called food libraries.
196. Blacker than the blackest black... times infinity!
195. We are here to make coffee metal. We will make everything metal.
194. All of our chefs, he has died a horrible death.
193. Many years ago something grew inside your mother. That thing was YOU!
192. Pickles the Drummer, Doodily Doo, Ding-Dong Doodily Doodily Doo
191. Prepare for ultimate flavour, you're gonna get some... now!
190. 9 Out of 10 Dentists Have Told Me I'm Ugly
189. I Think Feces Is Not As Good As Pie
188. Thx Tom. Ur a lejind.
187. Dakota Fanning is an albino Jack O'Lantern.
186. Are Canadians real?
185. ‹Antic-Hay› I don't think a big binary file makes a compelling read
184. ‹fibrosis› Merry Day changed to 01 Jan 2007 or whatever
183. * Antic-Hay compares the spam in his gmail inbox to skinny puppy lyrics
182. Rumour has it that WOTH don't go to mass
181. ‹pat› OMG now I can make my own internets
180. Backwards written is sentence this.
179. Thit sentence is not self-referential because 'thit' is not a word.
178. This sentence no verb.
177. Which question is also its own answer?
176. ‹fibrosis› how are your gigabytes?
175. You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten. —Schulz
174. ‹Antic-Hay› It's like a Sunn O))) concert outside
173. ‹fibrosis› I keep thinking Metallica wrote psychology papers
172. ‹nosmo› I don't spend my days hitting f5  <fibrosis> it's called RSS
171. ‹Faero› I am dry as a granny's teat
170. ‹nosmo› Heroin is supposed to kill musicians before they get shit
169. My hobbies are dropping like flies!
168. ‹unit_01› i have a windows
167. They've locked down their fortress! ... With locks!
166. UML is like pseudo code. with less Vinny and more wank —nosmo
165. Take off every 'zig' !! You know what you doing.
164. What you say !!
163. the tuning is metal if the 6th string flaps like a wet fart -fibrosis
162. Alphabet of Manliness: So manly, even its sentences don't have periods
161. * Eth must go to for be teached things     <Eth> English, ironically
160. Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.
159. This is the first time I've heard penis used as a verb. —inky
158. ‹KBKarma› I was just reaching down at irregular intervals.
157. ‹socbot› I sacrifice goats to satan
156. ‹estilos› is marka a turtle?
155. Your mother was a little airborne; she's still good, she's still good!
154. * Inky dodges Paul's meatspin attempt
153. * darklyndsea claws bizarre's eyes out    <Bizarre> (
152. ‹[j0n0]› games dont make people violent, lag does.
151. * nosmo grimaces and plays guitar that sounds like cheese being ground
150. Ask not for whom the <CONTROL-G> tolls.
149. A Moose once bit my sister...
148. ‹MysticJin› In Commonwealth of Australia, stingrays stab YOU!!
147. If you can make out the lyrics, it's not music. —Munky
146. ‹nacho› The intarsea is a series of planks.
145. HAPPINESS IS MANDATORY! SECRETS ARE TREASON!
144. ‹Eth› And also, I'd do Tim Curry as a tranny
143. No comments from the recently deceased, thank you.
142. Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
141. ‹nacho› FIST the rainbow!
140. BORAT IS WRONG! WE HAVE WAY MUCH CULTURE!
139. COME OUR ONLINE WORLDWEB INTERNET STORE! NICE!
138. The surf on the rocks, Gentle rain falls on cedars, I will fuck you raw.
137. Microsoft: You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips.
136. ‹nacho› Shhh, I'm making out with an operating system.
135. MAXIMUM VOLUME YIELDS MAXIMUM GOATSE
134. MAXIMUM VOLUME YIELDS MAXIMUM GOATS
133. MAXIMUM VOLUME YIELDS MAXIMUM RESULTS
132. ‹freezie› Straight girls like boobies too, you know.
131. ‹Munky› Alone at home drinking is the best kind.
130. ‹nacho› Kleenex monitors this channel to know when its stock will go up.
129. ‹poxy› I come from a world of xena and marbles
128. ‹Felix› She doing ok, crazy-wise?
127. BAKE NOW INSIDE FOR THE RIGHT TO GAY
126. KAZOO GHETTO WANK
125. Jumpers for goalposts. Isn't it? Mmmmm. Marvellous.
124. I am here to ride bike!
123. This is a model of a model of iron, modelled in iron.
122. ‹mark› Never heard of him tbh, and generally that means the artist sucks
121. How the fuck did you pronounce a forward slash?!
120. ‹nosmo› MELT DOWN YOUR HEARTS OF IRON AND MAKE SAFETY RAILS OF THEM
119. "I didn't think ninjas had super strength."  "He's a doctor too!"
118. ‹kev› vinny touches me in ways the dictionary doesn't allow
117. ‹KBKarma› Would you like your netris blocks identified? [yn or ?]
116. I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity. —Make The Pie Higher
115. ‹brazil› I'm not some sort of command line
114. ‹kevinly› leave my newts out of this
113. ‹Faero› I seem to have lots of experience with removing cocks from stuff
112. I hear singing! Bum is near! —nosmo
111. ‹nosmo› "I lost my jacket" "Time for some forced sex"
110. ‹nosmo› kevinly: I'm just angry because my penis is so small
109. Be a corpse! A DEAD CORPSE!
108. Metallica loves you!
107. it aint easy bein this goth ya know. —uberxgoth
106. My hair is an expression of my pain inside. —emogirl
105. I feel sorry for your little brain, all alone in that big fat head.
104. "Oh, you smell GOOD. What is that?" "Macintosh."
103. ‹fibrosis› this lecture would be better with guitars
102. Hello, Pete Doherty. Edison say, ALL OF TIME thinks you are wankstain.
101. Edison would be more comfortable if you put your penis away, yes.
100. Edison has been naked from the waist down this entire time.
99. Edison is so hot right now.
98. World Wide Intar Wub is for pictures of cats. Edison hate future.
97. In future, all messages are on thing called World Wide Intar Wub.
96. Write that down in your copybooks now.
95. Water, water, what hast thou donst?
94. Bless you, ants. Blants.
93. Thanks, ants. Thants.
92. 1: Jesus dies.  2: Jesus comes back to life.  3: ???  4: Chocolate.
91. I can't hear you, I'm sifting through porn. —nosmo
90. I keep an Avril Lavigne song on my mp3 player just so I can get angry.
89. Imaginary friends are never there when you really need them.
88. FOOLS! I am Fluffy... Destroyer of worlds!
87. Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.
86. Today is the tomorrow I was trying not to think about yesterday.
85. Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.
84. A bird in the hand is safer than two overhead.
83. There's too much blood in my sugar system!
82. Artifical intelligence is nothing compared to natural stupidity.
81. The understandtion is not in his head. —KBKarma
80. "It might be that battery is used up. Replace a new one please."
79. "There will be light on while comes a telephone call."
78. I couldn't stand the smell. It draws blisters on a monkey!
77. So I drank their beer and stole their condoms... —nosmo
76. Why is he naked all of a sudden? —Faero
75. Why are you wearing clothes? —Faero
74. I'm pregnant with anger! —nosmo
73. sorry i'm taking you once more with feet. —Markov
72. prepare for your new study of pancakes. —Markov
71. eagles may soar, but i am saying gaaarg! —Markov
70. random insanity is jamming along to eat them! —Markov
69. prepare to meet your beltseats. we are my winter coat! —Markov
68. be alive, or a wife and his gun somehow! —Markov
67. who tastes dog food when i could eat them! —Markov
66. ‹fibrosis› I had no guitar to hand for the solo so I played my dog
65. Deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things go splat.
64. I wouldn't give it to a dog, and I am one. —Gaspode the Wonder Dog
63. Things never get better. They just stay the same, only more so. —TP
62. "Yes, bugger all that," said Nanny. "Let's curse somebody."
61. I don't sign parts of the body, even if they're still attached. —TP
60. Prove me wrong! Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. —TP
59. I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me. —TP
58. I is more stronger than Darth Vapour. Obey me, I is your new dictator!
57. Prepare for downcount! 5... 4... 3... 1... OFF BLAST!
56. The textbook is absolutely right... well actually, not really. —Coghlan
55. ‹ebon› sometimes I wonder if your "lo suchandsuch" is a script
54. ‹nosmo› don't you Ellipsis me
53. "Why do people always pick on blonds were not dum"
52. I used to smoke weed. ... I still smoke weed, but I used to, too.
51. Rice is great if you're hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something.
50. Awww... I wanted to explode.
49. You dare agree with me? Prepare to meet your horrible doom!
48. The plug thing — it's not plugged!
47. * @Jaykul[GonCrazy] is jamming along to Winamp not started
46. I just assumed it was too stupid and/or 13 to do it properly. —Munky
45. Sorry I'm late; I was talking to a man, as they say. —Coghlan
44. ‹rsynnott› *shudders at thought of the sordid contents of LG12 naked*
43. ‹rsynnott› the internet needs deleting, I think
42. ‹reilly› stop sigging the same crap over and over
41. ‹nosmo› I always get cold when I play games naked :(
40. ‹mark› Words can't describe the gg-ness of that gg
39. ‹marka› Nothing wrong with the priests...
38. ‹marka› It averages out to your face
37. ‹Faero› this is nearly as good as Wong falling asleep balanced on a pen
36. ‹Faero› I want it... it's MICROPORTABLE!
35. ‹exiztone› None of this java on paper bollocks
34. ‹eoinmcl› like kids being hit by fridges
33. ‹ebon› the su shop sells fizzy fizzy good good
32. Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. —Anonymous
31. I don't want to be dead! I want to be alive, or a cowboy!
30. Holy penis, what a scoop!
29. Egad! A bullet came out of his gun somehow!
28. Ngh! So angry! Must... crush... newspaper!
27. Hello? Spider-Man? I am gay! Gay for YOU!
26. "wtf is a palindrome"  "no it's not dude"
25. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
24. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
23. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
22. How the hell do those Keep Off The Grass signs get there?
21. How come we never see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
20. Once I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
19. I wasn't sleeping, I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
17. I'm as busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
16. I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
15. Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
14. A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.
13. Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
12. Come back! Those are prescription pants!
11. No sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.
10. When I was five, my uncle was decapitated by a watermelon.
9. I'm taking you with me, you self-appointed beverage dictator.
8. Damn! Hell makes a yummy bagel.
7. Citizens of Mars, surrender or I become giant Wilford Brimley.
6. You deny me freshmaker?
5. Be free, little pop-tart.
4. GARG. I am saying GAAARG.
3. Repent! Repent! Floss often!
2. Quit being creative and memorize information like a zombie.
1. Oh my god, SOMEBODY PUT SHIT IN MY PANTS.