The monkey watches.
You nerd!
an improvement it is.
YAY
Why, to kill us?
Some people play tennis, I erode the human soul.
I'm not gonna *say* I'm gonna fuck off and fuck a robot!
What do you think of when I say "potato"?
This whole exercise is intellectually bankrupt.
How about Godzilla?
What if the moon, like, turned into some kind of monster.
Big floppy donkey dick
I've got a...uh...uh...oh yeah a pornographic memory!
mmm...titanium
consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
If at first you don't succeed blame your computer.
The only one who can help...MR. BEER!
Well...shit...
'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
I am the queen of cheese!
If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
Crucifying mice - bad idea.
'I'm drunk' is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
Someday I will use a broadsword to disprove 'The Pen is Mightier than the sword'.
No, the pants are not optional.
When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something 'I saw in a cartoon'.
The proper response to a briefing is not 'That's what you think'.
Try pushing the 'power' button
Evidently the marines is not like quake at all
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Yum hamster sandwich
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Just tell me where the duct tape is.
How *do* ninja's reproduce?
"Fuck you!", said the raven.
But diving toilet is part of ninja stealth training
Now, to unlease screaming temporal doom
Quiet or ill eat your head, is that enough words for you
Cretters burn real good
'Napalm sticks to kids' *is* a motivational phrase.
Dammit, you can't tickle girls when they have no clothes on!
Dragging a chunk of burning phosphorus across someone's face is a pretty nasty thing.
aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww...i wanted to explode.....
Office hours will be from three to five at the cheapest bar I can find.
Hey! Let go of me before something horrible happens to me, or else!
You will be condemned to the realm of eternal screaming and...ohhh...restlessness!
Man I'm spooky!
As soon as my skeleton stops being broken, I'm going to destroy you Dib!
Such horrible doo-dads!
Did I forget to mention the gun?
High school chemistry classes are your FRIEND.
thank you mr gates, you fuckstick. - ivan
You cannot even grasp the depths of your ignorance.
Water, man, it keeps the crazy out.
Evil wench!!
Don't poke it with a stick.
*Never* iron your clothes while wearing them!
Must... ...kill... ...world...
Get the monkey gun.
Think before you type.
Fuck you, fuck you in the ear
I just need to blow stuff up!
You can't make an omelette without killing a few people
...but...but...but...
must claw out eyes!
w00t
Muller light tastes weird
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
I know I shouldn't eat thee but... mmmmmm sacrilicious
Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids, eat them!
Well, I hope you've learned your lesson Lisa - never help anyone.
If something's hard, then it's not worth doing.
I have a body, and his name is pain..
I'm for whichever party does the mouth-shooting.
After all...killing each other is fun!
Did you eat a bomb?
we have nothing to talk about
I should bomb something
if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable
i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file
That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.
Fucking Monkeys, I swear to God.
In my case, they made an exception.
Can I contact him with something blunt and heavy?
I'm aware of that.
Live in your world - die in mine
Watch me set my pants on fire!!!
Those are a lot softer than I thought they'd be.
Ever tried using a cigarette lighter without opposable thumbs?
Sometimes I think about gravy
Time to drink myself intelligent!
I *have* to stop sleeping on top of the heater
I refer you to my previous statement
*blank* = seven dimensional wang
I should really stick a cable into my *blank*...scratch that! - ivan
I promptly beat him to death in the most brutal manner readily available.
Who the hell would sell you a live weapon?!
Irony is a cruel, sadistic bitch.
Sweetie, I will hit you so hard...
I remember alot of sake...
Do I look like a fucken people person?
Think of cute fluffy bunnies
Others will be blamed.
YOU! off my planet!
Hit any user to continue.
We be fucked.
Not without any legs you wont.
w00t this wench!
if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
incest is at least something the whole family can do.
I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
When you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.
Your death will be long and painful.
Damn ninjas. Always breaking my toys.
That's a FORK'S job!
I can be female - John Tobin
There's nothing sane about us
Yes...but wouldn't it be fun?
Can we pretend that I DIDN'T just say that last part out loud?
if my computer were human it'd be a limbless retard
Once a computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me in kickboxing.
You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.
http://www.little-gamers.com/index.php?strip_id=326#
Talking is just masturbating without the mess
Death by stereo
Even though you're a vampire...you're still my brother!
Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns...
sweet sweet virgin blood..mmmmm, also good in soup! -- me
http://applegeeks.com/comic_archive/viewcomic.php?issue=8
Augh! They're in my pants! Why are they in my pants?!
It's like having boiling hot joy pumped into your rectum.
Let me ask my cyber harem of Robot Sex Slaves.
The cat said it was ok?
You don't think this is overkill?
http://applegeeks.com/comic_archive/viewcomic.php?issue=112
You summoned me, oh mighty prince of hatred?
If I wasn't drunk, this would be kind of weird.
Have you no soul!
god knows - hold on i'll go ask him -- kieran
OK, three girls on me not good! -- bob
All those who believe in Telekenesis raise my hand.
go loot the corpses before they respawn
baby!!! mmmmmmmm...can i have mine with french toast and garnishes...?!
i never said i wasn't a hypocrite -- niall
*meh*
http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2004-07-21&res=l
...or would I rather shoot myself in the head?
im italian plz help me
well...it seemed logical...
It's the nights I fear the most.
Small Child + Hammer + Land Mine = Fun!!
I have naked pictures of her.
i'm holding my sword. right now. no sexual innuendo. its a real sword-kieran
well, aren't you jsut the queen of the not-quite-sequiturs... -- niall
nork! -- niall
but obv MS software rocks -- dave, oh how the mighty have fallen :(
The DRUGS, man, the DRUGS!
i'll cut your fucking legs off! -- niall
You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo.
Oral sex is when you talk dirty, dumbass
quick guys, how do you reattach the head to a dead body?
Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand
On a scale from 1 to 10, I'm so drunk.
I beat you like a pinata until stories come out.
life outside irc is to collect things to tell on irc
you don't even know who your mortal nemesis is? shame on you
Isn't that just...bread?
M Loves To Swing
http://www.boring3d.com/daily_archive.htm
How do headless cows eat grass?
Do you like your chocolate with or with out little heads?
He was on fire. So he ran.
Kamikaze Super Chickens on the attack.
If I had sheep I wouldn't make them eat brussels sprouts.
Where is the head on that thing?
You can't hear our screams because we have no mouths!
That's Daddy. He likes to kill things when discussing money.
Do I even want to know?
I want some milk.
You know it was a good shit when you come back and your screensaver's on.
The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
I'm saying that as a friend, not as a linux zealot
when you were in school did they ever say that you were special?
I have a dream: 2199023255552 bytes free.
http://bash.org/?349
cheese eating surrender monkeys! - niall
God used fork() to create Eve.
people live in utah??
I'm going to bed now, and you cant stop me from thinking dirty stuff.
my favorite animal is the scapegoat
so true....648
I don't recall using teleportation, yet there I was, alone, naked! - Morrowind
I see your pantslessness, and raise you nakedness
Right, because NOBODY wants to be stalked by a HOT GIRL...
Soul eh? But dont I need that to...live after I...die?
THE DART HAS SPOKEN!
http://www.warbucket.com//site/encyc/view_entry.php?id=195
I thought you were a girl - vish aboot bbrazil
Shy and hesitant, he is always looking for something new to put on his head.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake
If I stay here much longer, I am going to lose my mind.
First you get the spoons....then you get the women.
necrophilia is dead boring, incest is only relatively boring
I would rather fuck a cactus.
Death by teacup.
Oh my god!! he's like some...non giving up...school guy!!!
I glued my ass to the ceiling.
Not as little as my penis -- niall
It burns as my passion for greatness.
Like a giant koala with dentures.
I am a giant tomato filled with love.
Tell me your thoughts, that I may ingest them
Yes, I know you worry about that.
You look like you've been killing small animals or something.
looking at my harddrives hoping they are capable of mating so i can put some data on their offspring
406381
Move all the bibles into the fiction section of a bookstore
404099
"UPS" - that's the noise they make when they drop your parcels
I won't let them educate me without a fight.
You don't ask, you just poke - gill
Ponytail of the Damned!
Peter is another word for "Penis".
Stop corrupting my monkey!!
Oh, can I lick it?
meh with the deeliness of bleh! - me
Actions speak louder than words, especially if you have a giant moon laser
Don't mix wine and bunnies
Please do not tumble-dry the bunny
Bunnies are nudists
shoes will eat you -- kieran
Yeah, they look like sperms, but they're really threads -- me
No, not the fairies!!
Because that's the only way to get the magic out.
My pants are vibrating -- kieran
Don't worry. I'm sure your Mom thinks you're cool.
Online help is for wimps
I dont mind a little bush,but i wont go near one with a dick-sorryeverybody.com
coming from a woman?!?! -- niall
Be the change you want to see in the world -- Ghandi
Can we just shoot them and start over?
Where there's a will...there's normally a corpse to go with it
I had 2 options, close the porn, or pull up my pants
Better to have loved and lost, than loved a loser. -- Dizer
Hi satan, will you be my friend?
I'm going to stab you now...with bullets.
The bunny decided it was time to break out the Uzi...
http://www.frozenreality.co.uk/comic/bunny/index.php?id=90
warning to all: chest hair is more flammable than you think. -- Chronos
It is like getting a ordering a pizza and getting a free walrus.
Remember, you are not a salmon.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
Chaos, panic, and disorder -- my work here is done.
Earth is full.Go home.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
This statement is false.
Ignore this sig.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder ...
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
http://nekothekitty.keenspace.com/d/20041208.html
It must be difficult to type while on fire.
Take me drunk, I'm home
http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Archive/Jun00.php?date=27
i am t3h l37h4rgz0r -- ivan
You want me to punch Jesus in the face?
Set fire to your eyebrows!!
hooray with a capital T-H-A-T-S-F-U-P-P-I-N-G-C-O-L-D. -- dave
Like somebody just swatted me with a submarine.
Pass me the Puppy, we have to test this bleach
Today, the Bunny lost all track of reality...
Good Things, Many Devils
Koii ma Oshi
431907
I.. I don't like my own good...
With great power comes...HEAT VISION
oh, and her boobs are REALLY soft!
It's like trying to find a fart in a jacuzzi
You're about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican!
http://www.frozenreality.co.uk/comic/bunny/index.php?id=134
I'm gonna burn my eyes, and then my brain -- bill
if i could, i'd have my words leap off the screen and stab you in the face -- dach
i can't help the oral diahorrea alright -- aengus
Wait, if you're imaginary, how will you catch me?
...with great opportunities to become jetpowered furry fireballs
PATOOI CANNON!!
472706
I got monkeys in me!!
Then follow me into the sacred hall of the stinking piggy of stinking pigginess
Yeah...well, I read somewhere that there's these people...in France!
Oh my God! Now I've gotta kill him!
The three true branches of the Government are Military, Corporate and Hollywood
XP is basicly 98 with a lot more extra features to hunt down and disable
so she built a skyscraper of procrastination
and it all fell so fast
and it all fell so far
you are also a stiff drink and i am on call
you are a party and i am a school night
DON'T TOUCH ME LIKE THAT! -- morgan
They are the zombies of the Internet!
Don't go rulin' out your ability to commit murder until you've had your first period
DOUBLE-MONKEY FUCK DAMN!
Violence really is funny when it happens to someone who doesn't matter!
http://www.bash.org/?262417
It's just that in the end my hatred for you prevailed.
One night your parents made a big mistake.
They say that love is blind, but it ain't dumb
Potatoes don't yell when you eat them.
echo '16i[q]sa[ln0=aln100%Pln100/snlbx]sbA0D4D465452snlbxq'|dc
Dear Puzzled Missionary, People don't like to be smeared with poop. --JHC
http://www.countyoursheep.com/d/20041215.html
It was funny in my head -- ivan
When all else fails, play dead
http://www.bash.org/?469064
the visual equivalent of a mugging
Man you're scary, Rod Stewart scary
I save erections for special occasions -- Neil
as long as their nail polish is drying, women are practically defenseless.
i love you to, in a fuck off and dont come near me kind of way.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?
That's like giving out land mines for helping the poor
Cats have 9 lives, which makes them ideal for experimentation!
I can't get it from in front or behind -- Neil
I'm trying from every possible direction -- Neil, in confusion
I did it with the trolleys across the cobblestones last year -- Bob
now let's ALL go home and masturbate..
You should finger me -- Bob
Sometimes that means dying - sometimes that means killing a whole lotta ppl
Always, and never
I know it baby, you grew up strong
http://bash.org/?136332
...but... it looked so cute and harmless in the store.
<@Apoc> Lets see you get a trebuchet up here bitch
http://www.bash.org/?125191
What garlic is to food, insanity is to art.
The lottery is a tax on people who aren't good at maths
Oh look my sanity, wait come back!!
speaking of research, i need to go frighten things in the lab
I sit him so hard he fell off the Internet.
< artemis> fuck shit ass bollox cunt balls wank
yer willy looks like a wee mugger - Billy Connelly
Holy convoluted metaphor Batbunjesusman!
It's the kinda fart that'd change the way ya walk!! - Billy Connelly
Hindu people drive like maniacs,cos they all believe in reincarnation
Here is a knife, put it in your stomach
If it has syntax, it isn't user friendly.
I made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire with my face
524096
I am exceptionally proud of my humility
I don't have the energy to get you off -- Neil
what kind of sick person doesn't organize their files?!!!
your face is in my ma!! -- me to Ivan
If I had a knife, I'd shoot you
Should've challenged him to a battle of magic and then shot him
The Orange Bunny comes in the night... to pee on your head
Well, then I'm fucked.
http://www.bash.org/?6892
#539339
love is just when two people decide to stalk each other.
#539379
i like porn because it doesnt laugh at my penis
#540640
http://www.bash.org/?520466
http://applegeeks.com/comic_archive/viewcomic.php?issue=125
#544807
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers
Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies --Gene Hill
If you chose 'A' award yourself two points. If you chose 'B', award yourself 'insane'
http://bash.org/?50809
The bunny had attained the cabbage of true love
Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing
sad little king of a sad little hell
"you didn't have to wound that man" "ye-ah i know, it was just funny"
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
mercy is the sign of a great man, guess im just a good one, well im alright
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
United by the urge to poke Adolf Hitler and Jack Thompson until they cry
Stick your finger up Bob's bubble - bill
They stole my toilet! - dermo
Unicorn stole my brain! - ivan
Niall is my brian - ivan
The table is...it's...it's TRANSHOVERING!! - ivan
Are you gonna pull a Morgan now or are you gonna cum - niall to eof
It just kept coming! - gill
Most of my friends like me - dumb shit from BB, Eugene... *most*?!!
I got the Internet on it once - P aboot his laptop
I'm tired after all that brental main work - sdss
Iv been busy this week,bashin myself over the head with an iron - reasons not to watch BB
Ow, that's my me time hand - kevin
Guys cheap enough to hack into things are depressed pale fatsos with glasses - faye
Windows isn't unstable, it's just spontaneous.
There be enough penis for EVERYONE
if your mom were a collection class, her insert method would be public
The Bunny hoped the rustling was just its imagination
Two words .. chainmail wedgie
My back smells like bacon...
Oh man, now I'm a sinner and God's a pervert
http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php
I want to name my kids after people I hate, so I can beat them - and feel good about it
god created shit....honda made it move
Your mother was suspicious that it took her nine whole months to take a crap, so she named it just in case
http://www.toddandpenguin.com/d/20010830.html
Killed by kicking a wall
I'm gonna give you a nice normal evening, even if I have to kill everyone on the face of the earth to do it
I'm way outta your league, if your league exploded, I wouldn't even hear it for 3 days
artemis: Your opinion can go fuck itself. Join it if you're feeling lonely
top
|
